Monday, 21 May 2007

Stinging Words

Got this from my friend.... BOLA

Words can sting

You've probably noticed that - especially critical words. But they may be a lot like iodine.

Listen to our word for today from the Word of God in Proverbs 15:31, "He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise."
Notice, a rebuke can actually be "life-giving." It doesn't usually feel life-giving.

When someone points out something they don't like about us, it hurts. It stings. But God says if we heed that criticism or rebuke, we're showing how wise we are.

In fact, according to Proverbs 27:6, "wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

First, when someone who cares about us points out something they see in us, it does feel like a "wound." The Bible acknowledges that it hurts. But it also says that those comments can be "trusted" when they come from a friend.

People who don't care about you may tell you whatever you want to hear, but those who care about you will tell you what you need to hear!

When we love someone, we have a responsibility to be a mirror for them; to show them what we see when we look at them. Sometimes, that means we'll be affirming what things they are doing right, praising them for strong points they have that they may not be able to see.

But our love also means we must hold up that mirror sometimes to show them how they're coming across, what they're doing wrong. We all hate to hear that we're accidentally unbuttoned or unzipped, but it's a good thing they let us know. It can save us a lot of embarrassment!

So when a friend or loved one points out something that isn't fun to hear, don't get angry with them or don't just disregard what they said. Consider what it is that may have made them say that. What do they see that maybe you can't see about yourself?

Maybe only a percentage of what they point out is accurate, but you need to prayerfully consider what part of it is true.

It's hard for me to face this, but there must be something I'm doing or communicating that has made this person have this perception. The Bible says that those who listen openly and honestly to one of their "mirrors" will be "at home among the wise."

In some ways, the closer the person is to us, the harder it is for us to receive critical feedback from them. Like from our spouse, for example. But those are the comments we should give the greatest weight to, because this is someone who really loves us and someone who knows us well.

And when we are giving someone constructive criticism, let's be sure that we assure them of our love and of our belief in them, and that that's the reason we're giving them this hard-to-hear input.

The "iodine" of some one's criticism does sting. But what stings can also kill infection!

Have a funfilled week.... c u on Friday.


Anonymous said...

words can really sting

TaureanMinx said...

Good write up..whoever wrote it. Its sure is hard to get negative fedback...when it comes to close friends I think its better to be constructive and not too critical.

~Mimi~ said...

its a lie no questions today?????????lol mon seour how are you?

ExcitedJade said...

@pink satin... true talk my sister

@Tminx... wassup, thx for visiting my blog

@mimi... sister mi, relax now... more questions on friday.

9ja Opeke said...

It is hard for anyone to take critisms well especially one who gives it.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece...I'll be here again to read more encouraging post from you.

Naija Vixen said...

I was going to ask where the questions were...but Mimi beat me to're gonna hav to start mailing me when you bout to post! ;-) uhm,this was written for me...iv got a friend that iv got to tell sum home truths...but i know my words,no matter how nice, are going to sting bad...nd myt just destroy our tell or not to tell?

princess said...

I used to hate criticisms. In fact i still do,(lol) but i handle it better now-I just try to look beyond the criticism and rather dwell on why am being criticised. it helps to take the sting.
Nice post girl.
Hope u r ok.

ExcitedJade said...

@9ja Opeke.. tx darlyn

@NaijaVixen... hmmmm.. more questions, u just relax, please tell her, afterall we all know the truth hurts.

@princess.. sweetiepie,true talk... am cool.

jadedjune said...

Na wa o... so its not kweshon time today then?
Nice post.....!

yankeenaijachick said...

Nice one jade. nice blog too.


.."what stings can also kill infection"...
100% True talk. a catchy phrase too. well done on this ur blog o. u dey try

Anonymous said...

true, true, true!! whenever i'm criticized, i argue and defend myself till i'm fed and i eventually realise its only for the better.
nice blog!!!!