Friday, 27 April 2007

True life story 2

When my mother died, my husband felt very sad. Our acquaintances in the U.S did not even know whose mother actually died. We had to come to Nigeria for the burial. But on the day of the burial, the most shocking thing happened. My mother-in-law was conspicuously absent.

My friends and family could not believe it.Some people even said they sighted her in her shop early that morning, gorgeously dressed and attending to customers. They were therefore surprised that she did not show up at the burial.Later, a friend of mine, who my mother-in-law did not know, went to her shop and met her discussing with her very close friend.

After listening to their discussion, she came home to tell me that I should be careful with my mother-in-law. She quoted her as saying that she did not come for my mother’s burial because she could not pretend to be saddened by her death. She was even quoted as saying that now that my mother was dead, my husband follows her to heaven and continues to make her his mother.

That statement meant so much to me, so two days later, I went to a pastor and complained to her. She prayed and revealed that my mother-in-law and some others in her group were responsible for my mother’s death. I

would not have believed her, but for the fact that I had not said anything before she told me that. She went on to say that if I were not careful, I would soon die like my mother. She said the woman was very wicked and that she was ready to do anything to make sure that her son obeyed her only.

I left the woman’s place, partially convinced that what she had said was true. But I decided to behave as if I never heard it since there was no way I could confirm it. But I was shocked when my elder sister also came and said the same thing. She said the circumstances that surrounded my mother’s death made an aunt of mine to go in search of spiritual help.

She said my mother just shouted from her sleep that she had headache, and she died a few minutes later.My sister said she was there with my aunt when the spiritualist told her that my mother-in-law was responsible for our mother’s death.

I pretended as if I had never heard a similar story. I told God that since I was a Christian, He should never allow any evil to befall me in the course of fighting for my right.

My sister advised me to divorce my husband since I had only two children for him. She said it was better for me to do so early so that I could find another husband in good time. But I was not ready to marry two husbands. I told her to only pray for me.

Although my husband saw his mother, I went back to the U.S. without seeing her. I made efforts to see her, but I could not. We had barely spent a month in the US when my husband said he was going to Europe.

He said he would call me as soon as he got a line. But instead of Europe, he travelled to Lagos. I would not have known about it if a cousin of mine had not called me to say that she saw my husband and had thought that we came to Nigeria together before my younger sister told her that I was not around.

When I heard that my husband was in Nigeria and not Europe, I knew something was fishing. So, I travelled secretly to Lagos. This time, I picked a cab from the airport and headed straight home, without even alerting my close friend who had brought me home the first time.

When I got home, my husband was not there and everywhere was very quiet.I did not even see the security man, so I made for my room upstairs. What I saw almost made me to faint. Unknown to me, my husband had come for the christening of a set of twins another woman had for him.

This was apart from the one he threw a party for earlier. My mother-in-law was there, sitting with her on the bed and helping her to take care of one of the twins. That baby almost dropped from her hand when she looked up and saw that it was me.

I did not know whether to faint or die outright. All that had happened was too much for me to bear. And I could no longer cry to my mother.

The next thing my mother-in-law did was to put the baby on the bed and made to leave the room. I almost pulled her back forcibly when she reached the door, but for the grace of God.

I decided that I was not going to fight, but quietly drive my point home. So, I turned to Iya Ibeji (the mother of the twins) and told her that she should please leave my room and go to wherever she came from. But she also proved stubborn. She said she belonged there.

I told her to look at the wedding pictures on the wall and look at me again, for her to know I am the legally married wife. She did so, hissed and started to pack her things. Although I was glad she did that, I told myself that if I were in her shoes, I would not have moved an inch.

She had a driver, so she called him and within 30 minutes, they were all out of the premises. Immediately they left, my mother-in-law came and started shouting at me. She said there was no way a woman would come to her son’s house to control him; that his son could marry as many wives as he wanted.

I told her that she wanted to ruin his life like she ruined those of others. She grabbed me and said since I had started to abuse her; I should cap it with beating her up. It was her children that came and separated us.

My husband, knowing what had happened, refused to pick his calls or come home. I later learnt that he had gone with the woman to one of our houses in Lagos. When I complained to my sister, she said I should leave them alone so that they would not kill me. But I felt that if I did as my sister advised, it would amount to wasting all the efforts I have invested in my husband.

I was not ready to let another woman have the last laugh. But when I started falling ill and my husband did not show his face still, I had to think twice.One of our tenants called me and told me that I should seek spiritual help to my problem.

She said my mother-in-law would make the house so hot for me that I would pack out in a hurry. She said I should allow her to do whatever she liked with her son instead of exposing myself to danger.

Most of my friends have also been saying that the source of my husband’s sudden wealth is questionable and I should be careful with him. I have been back in the U.S for the past six months.
I am torn between keeping my marriage by staying neck-deep in trouble and leaving my husband and enjoying peace. He has called to beg me, but he says he does not have the guts to face me, which is why he has not joined me in the U.S.

Please,What should I do?


Daddy's Girl said...

Ha! I am speechless at the moment. Will come back to say something later.

Anonymous said...

this is shocking, i dont even know what to say.some mothers-in-law are trouble form the beginning.

She should just continue to pray to God for directions, i feel for her stongly.

Cheetarah said...

i just came across this story, tell me ur not going tru this horror? Im going back 2 read the beginning nw

Naija Vixen said...

well,i read the first part and im usually of the skl that says dont pass judgement if you hav not experienced it...but in this case...the dude is obviously under sumthin...maybe not juju...but in this case,the lady's two kids are more she shuld please leave him...cos if she dies,who's going to take care of her kids?This mother-in-law takes the cake oh...i'll pray for the lady oh...she shuld please's not worth it.

Toni Payne said...

There is nothing better than having peace in your life, its the one thing nothing can buy. WOW!.. too much drama, juju or no juju that is just tooo much. You know what makes me mad is there are loads of mothers like this who poke their nose into their sons marriage a little too much. I always wonder how they would feel if they were in the womans shoes.

Its easier said than done, but I say run, take off your heels and run as far away from him as you can. I mean what will it take to leave? Triplets with another woman? I beg!.

This just reminds me of an argument we had the other day about getting married to a man who is not as well off as you are or whose family is not as well off as yours and the problems that could arise. I did not see anything wrong with it, but then again, Im half realist half I almost always see good in people till they prove otherwise..

SuperTed_On_Kaikai said...

Go to a spiritualist. A very good one. Carryout all the suggested rituals. After that does not work, go to a pastor and he will bind your mather-in-law into oblivion.


Im A Babe said...

um is she still asking what she should do? this actually does sound like a naija movie...unfortunately it also happens 2 some women in real life who choose 2 let it happen 2 them.

wat is she still doing with that man 4 crying out loud?
wat exactly is is she fighting 4? there is NOTHING worth fighting 4 other than peace of one's mind abeg.

Favoured Girl said...

Under normal circumstances, I would say the lady should fight for her marriage, but these are not normal circumstances! With her wicked mother-in-law and a husband who can cheat on her, lie to her and obey his mum to the detriment of his marriage, I think she should leave. Add to that, the fact that her life may be in danger. I think she should take her children and move far away. She has to protect her life and those of her children. Fighting with her husband's mum and two baby mamas is not worth it.

Bhola! said...

Nitori Olorun (For God's sake), she should please leave. Unless there are secrets that the husband knows and would use against her. Even that, she should think about her children and just leave.

Abi, won bi hook mo fish ni? She should just carry her two left legs and waka. If not, she'll be six feet under and no one to care for her kids.

I'll join others in praying for her. This is serious wahala!

Now when I pray that, may I not have a mother-in-law, if she'll be a problem to me, peeps will ask, why I am asking for death on someone's mother. How will one not pray that kain prayer? With devilish monster-in-laws like this one. Olorun gba wa o! (God save us!)

Justme said...

I think you should pray and fast seriously. Seek the face of God

Daddy's Girl said...

Ok, I'm finally back... wow, excitedjade, your friend is really going through the wringer right now. I really feel for her. I agree with others that for her to stay in that environment is not a healthy option at this stage. I think she should step away from that poisonous atmosphere and then seek God's intervention. Her mother-in-law is such a terrible woman, who knows what lengths she may go to now? And her husband is really misbehaving as well. I can really understand why you were shedding tears for her - it's a lot for one person to bear. Will join others in praying for her.

ExcitedJade said...






Orientatednaijababe said...

this post nearly brought me to tears...tell ur friend to run like an olympic runner...she shud not only think of herself but her two children who deserve a happy home with or without a man in it...and pls tell her to keep on praying and fasting.....i'll also remember her in my prayers

Pink-satin said...

Chineke God!what is dis?wat is did?this na waya o...Mehn can kill...this is man's inhumanity to man!how can u do that to ur wife..Mehn me i will leave him..there is nothing to salvage..absolutely nothing.......that mother in law sef can kill her

princess said...

A word is enough for the wise. Make she tear race o! before them kill am before her time. She should severe all ties with her husband and his family for her kids sake.

dolly said...

What is she still doing with that kind of a man, there's is nothing left for her to fight for except her children since the mother in-law is the dictator

she should just leave before she dies b4 her time

Calabar Gal said...

I dont know what to say. Keep your husband or your life and sanity? I think she should stay on her own for sometime and bring up her kids. There is more to this than meets the eye. When her husband comes to his senses, he will come back to her in the US.

Calabar Gal said...

I just red the part one of this story now. So her husband now has 3kids from different women. He is a repeat offender and will offend again. She is better off without him. I would advise her staying on her own and bringing up her kids.

ExcitedJade said...



Tayo said...

This is a very serious situation. Unfaithfulness is a serious enough offense, and when it keeps happening, it shows the husband is not remorseful in any way. I think she should separate from him once and for all. One reason being if he remains unfaithful, he could easily bring in diseases like HIV into the family ... among other consequences. I'll still ask around about this situation, and I'll post more advice when I get them.

ExcitedJade said...

@tayo.. thanks for visitng my blog... wow, this is really interesting, hearing this from a guy.. i sure will show her this pwersonally.

Pinkwhistles said...

I don't really agree with Tayo. Some guys ( gals also) cheat and are discreet. As long as there is no regard for monogamy, anything can happen.Is it because this guy wasn't sharp, and got caught? ( I am not endorsing philandering o!)

In my opinion, your friend still loves her husband and that's why she is confused. Love conquers all. Is she a christian? Does she believe that she can conquer warfare through the blood of Jesus?

If she is a christian, she'll know God's take on marriage. She needs to read the Bible and gain strength and insight as to what to do next. I shall pray for her and for her marriage. It's unfortunate that her husband is from a different background, so his mentality is affected. She has to stay strong with her husband so that his mother who is obviously his strong bond will revert to being a weak bond, along with all the baby mothers. Life is full of challenges sha.

Bhola! said...

Pinkwhistles, so you are saying she should stay in the marriage? When she is dead and gone to hell or heaven, even Jesus go ask her, why was she that stupid.

Believe me, this aint no love. If I remember right, the good book said, husband love your wife and wife submit to your husband. See in that verse alone, she is not the one that is supposed to be doing the loving. It is the duty of the husband. But unfortunately she has a stupid man, to be her husband. I do not see him loving her now, then or later. She'll be dead and people like you pinkwhistles, will be the one calling her names and asking why she did not leave.

The Last King Of Scotland said...

men the dude needs big time deliverance and since she cant get through to him she should do for herself and kids, protect them from powers and principalities which are trying to harm them and tear a happy home apart. the sad advice is to leave her husband for the time being till God intervenes. its not normal. heavy prayer is required

Anonymous said...

this story sounds like fiction.

Miss Clanny said...

Hmmmm....this our nigeria wen will it change. All I can say is God help this woman, I feel for your friend excitedjade.......really.

No spiritualist o......your friend can pray with her own mouth for God to fight her battles. She should continually cover herself and her children with the blood of Jesus. Husband can come and go has he wishes but the most important is she needs to forgive her husband ( it might nt be his doing)and her mother -in - law. The lord's mercy will be upon her.

This is a serious matter will be nice if we all remember this woman in our prayers.